ABOUT M3

hi! my name is rue. i'm 20 and go by any pronouns. i'm currently studying film and media and do VO on the side.
i also hope to explore content creating and i aspire to be a vtuber someday. :)

design by @whatjuz and @senpaiartz on X

INT3R3STS

Anime. . . Kimi Ni Todoke, A Whisker Away, A Silent Voice, Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Your Name, Fruits Basket, My Happy Marriage, A Condition Called Love, Love Through a Prism, Violet Evergarden, and way more!
Creators. . . lilypichu, tommyinnit, pokimane, quarterjade, offlinetv, michael reeves, technoblade, jacobweeby, smosh, and also way more
Music. . . lilypichu, madds buckley, olivia rodrigo, jorge rivera-herrans, ado, cigarrettes after sex, beabadoobee, billie eilish, lamp, laufey, majiko, aurora, given, girl in red, derivakat, porter robinson, grace vanderwaal, katseye, and cavetown

ART

PORTFOLIO

TRIGG3R WARNING

hello! it looks like you're wanting to read my poems. that's completely okay BUT i want to make sure you're okay with these topics:

the darker poems will have "TW" next to their names, so even if you're not okay with those topics you'll know which poems are less morbid ;w;
if you're not comfortable that's fine! please take care of yourself first <3click here for poems!

PO3MS

CONTACT M3

discord: ruemeo
[email protected]
myoshi: @ruemeo
insta: @ru3m3o
CCC: ru3
twitch: @ru3m3o

back

april 20, 2026

plus one

you show up at parties i tend to dread,
and suddenly i’m laughing at the things you’ve said.
you’re not even mine to know, not really, not quite—
you’re someone else’s someone and you’re ruining my night.you make the whole room feel like it’s in on a joke,
you asked me how my day was and i almost choked—
you remember little things that other people forgot,
nobody warned me you’d be, like, a lot.i see you maybe once across a random month,
and somehow that’s enough to ruin my lunch.
i’ll hear a song you mentioned and i’m done for the day,
you don’t know you did that. you’re so far away.you’re not thinking about me, not even a little,
you’re out there living, laughing, solving your own riddle.
and i’m here turning over every small interaction
like it’s evidence. like it’s a transaction.it’s not. you’re just someone i see sometimes.
and somehow that’s enough for me.

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march 29, 2026

hollow

i’ve only ever loved one person
in nineteen years.
someone i knew for a year
and never got to say,
“i love you.”there’s a gap between a crush
and something more—
i’ve stood at that edge
and never crossed.i sit with my hand
over my chest
just to check
if anything is still there.people drift toward each other
at bus stops, in restaurants,
like it’s effortless for them.
while i walk home alone
and the silence follows me inside.i hate how easy the word sounds.
i hate that it moves through other people
like water.
i reach for it
and find only
the space of where it should be.

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march 25, 2026

yeah

some nights i just think,
yeah, i’m going to die soon.
not dramatically—just the thought,
settling in like gentle rain.i’m suddenly a stranger to this system.
that’s the part that scares me most—
that my body knows something
i haven’t been told yet.mornings are the hardest.
my mind doesn’t arrive with me.
i sit up too fast and the room
makes its own decision about where to go.i watch people carry their days
like it’s nothing.
light loads. easy shoulders.
and i am here
crying because i’m tired,
crying because i don’t know why
this is so hard,
crying because no one
has given me a reason yet
and i’m running out of ways
to explain myself to myself.i feel weak.
i feel useless.
i feel like a word
everyone else knows the meaning of
except me.
most of all, terrified.
that’s new.
i have never been afraid of death before.

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february 16, 2026

all the little things

you make me furious.
two years since you’ve left
and i can still feel the various
emotions you abandoned me with.time feels like an eternity,
but the scars you gifted me
will never vanish as forcefully
as i have from your side.i despise you—
i detest you.
this need to hate fills my heart
so possibly,
my knees beg with hope,
i can forget every thought—
all the little things
that remind me of you.

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february 12, 2026

countdown

i am nineteen and still tiptoeing
through my own fucking life,
still measuring the decibels of my breath,
still a child at the dinner table—
where every word is a landmine
and silence is just another bullet.they ask me why i’m so quiet,
why i disappear into my room like smoke.
i want to scream that this house
has teeth, that these walls learned
to swallow sound before i learned to speak—
that i have been small for so long
i forgot what it means to feel safe.prison doesn’t need bars when it has
expectations and family photos on the walls.
prison doesn’t need locks when guilt
is the warden and love is the lie
they tell themselves at night.i am working hard and hoarding oxygen.
every final grade is a brick i’m pulling
from this foundation, every application
a countdown to the day i walk out
and don’t look back, don’t apologize,
don’t explain myself to people who never
saw me as anything but a mirror
for their own broken glass.one day i will have keys that open
doors to rooms where no one is angry.
i will cook breakfast without an audience.
i will laugh too loud and no one will flinch.
i will unlearn the fear and sadness.one day this will be a story i tell
in past tense, in a room full of light,
in a home that doesn’t ask questions—
the way a wound remembers the knife.
and i will finally be free.

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february 1, 2026
i tried writing a poem w/o rhymes :)

wishing for light

i practice wanting what i cannot hold—
the shape of joy, its weight, its warmth,
mouth the words like learning
a language i will never speak.there’s a room inside me where the light slips in.
i stand at its entrance every day,
one hand on the frame,
the other reaching back toward the shadows.sometimes i am so close;
i can feel the sun’s vow on my skin,
taste the sweetness of forgetting
all the reasons why i turn away.but i know the structure of my own undoing,
the blueprint drawn in bone and blood—
how happiness is a door
that opens for everyone but me.still, i make the same wish.
i light the same candle.
i pretend i don’t already know it will go out,
that hoping is just another way of getting hurt.

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january 19, 2026

how much longer

there’s a missing piece in my life.
someone i’ve never known before—
someone i’m desperately longing for—
but my past has been full of strife.rain falls for the simplest of reasons,
yearning for those gentle words of yours.
i drag my clouds through the seasons,
endlessly searching for the cures
to my explosive thunder and lightning.
i’ve been carrying these burdens alone—
every twist and turn being so frightening—
this is the veracity i’ve always known.i wonder if you feel this ache too,
searching through faces in the crowd;
searching for a happiness that’s not allowed,
both of us drowning in the same shade of blue.i hope one day our paths will cross,
and you’ll recognize the storm in me,
accepting all my pain and loss.
you’ll hold my hand and help me see
your presence that will hush every fear.
you’d tell me everything’s alright—
the words i’ve waited years to hear.
your voice keeping me warm through the night.how much longer must i endure
carrying this weight alone?
maybe i’ll be left here on my own,
and you’re just a dream, nothing more.

back

december 26, 2025

forever a martyr

lyrics race through my mind every night.
just hearing specific melodies make me
think of what-ifs—futures that aren’t so bright.
i want to be with the constellations; to be free,
except this cage expresses forever haunting.
the bars prevent me from what i desire to foresee;
the universe becomes my endless longing. eternal daunting.persistently serving others; wanting, no—
needing to be good enough to snatch their gaze.
i must be desperate to reach their glow,
otherwise my heart is prisoner for the rest of my days.
my worst fear is to be lonely; to fall behind.
if i’m not useful, there’s no point to solve this maze—
this labyrinth that consists of my mind.thus shall be my burning, painful reality—
my hands will always take the blunder,
i can’t even bother to muddle a plea
because my heart will always be used to sunder.
nevertheless, the sun rises and my mind grows still.
my train of thought now begins to wonder:
is there even such a thing as free will?

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december 23, 2025

the storm

these clouds appear grey and dark,
though you notice it has lost its spark.
no thunder, no lightning to be seen—
the rain falling to the earth is serene.
you look up as the sky silently cries,
feeling the agony as you conceptualize.the storm grows; the wind pushing you away—
you move against the current, clutching a tree,
pulling yourself into its embrace; it’s the lock to your key—
the breeze is dying down as you remain to stay.rain continues to softly trickle down your face;
it’s almost as if you’re nature’s safe space.
your arms linger; the rough bark against your skin,
close to feeling a warm emanation from within.
“the storm is not something you need to escape or cure,”
you hold the tree despite the chaos it endures.“your tempest is the very thing that i have grown to adore—
“in all your raging beauty, wild and unrefined,
“i choose the storm of you; our souls now intertwined.
“you are my shelter, just as i am yours.”

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november 11, 2025

behind this canvas

to repaint this canvas
would be a difficult task.
every stroke makes me anxious
that's hidden underneath my mask.the hues don't match;
shapes built to detach.
piercing eyes look in disgust.
they can't adjust
their vision in a better light.
the piece is far from right.i wanted to capture my glow,
far from what i choose to conceal.
but this gloom is what i show,
outsiders failing to see what i truly feel.

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october 11, 2025

permafrost

i used to know the fresh air of spring.
now i just wait for frost to bring
an end to what it slowly started,
killing everything soft-hearted.the cold crept in without a sound,
took root in frozen, bitter ground.
now it’s gutting me, bone-deep,
splitting bark while others sleep,
and i’m still standing like a tree
too dead to know it should break free.they say things grow beneath the snow.
i’ve torn through ice and dirt below,
clawed at permafrost till i bled,
searching for something that’s not dead—
a pulse, a seed, some buried proof
i had a reason, some small truth
worth surviving winter for.but there’s nothing anymore.
just frozen earth and the relief
of giving in to all this grief,
of letting ice freeze what it claimed,
of forgetting i was ever named
something other than this hate,
this hollow shell that learned too late—i don’t feel wind against my skin.
that’s how i know the cold will win.

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october 10, 2025

my memories of you can’t fade

i know better than to miss you now,
but my heart has never learned to listen anyhow.my mind recites the reasons you were wrong,
but grief ignores the poems i’ve made with care,
each one a verse in some defensive song;
it finds you in the evening’s fading air.there are moments when missing you cuts so deep,
the way the moonlight falls through the trees,
a melody, memories i don’t want to keep,
that brings me to my stubborn, aching knees.perhaps it’s fine that hearts refuse to heal,
that they can mourn what never should have been,
a friendship that at first sounded ideal,
with all the weight that i refused to be seen.the sadness doesn’t mean that i am weak;
it means that something mattered, so to speak.

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september 28, 2025

a crown of kindness

i was chased, casted out, frozen still.
fear and uncertainty clouded my mind,
but then there was you, with a heart so real.you offered me somewhere to stay,
putting a stranger's needs before yours,
when i had forgotten my way,
i haven't seen this kindness in years.staying with you has been a dream.
i want to be your best friend forever,
we really do make a great team!people say you're cold and dangerous,
but all i feel in my heart is warmth,
you're always so gentle and generous,
slowly reminding me of my worth.where ice and fire somehow blend,
my weary heart has found its home,
promising to always be your friend.

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september 20, 2025

the dark truths

this numbness is alien, something you shouldn't ever feel.
an invisible injury, a statement that broke me down.
when i first heard, i never thought it would be real.
it must've been scary, someone should've been around.worse than being suffocated,
worse than being multilated.
i never thought of violence as an answer,
but that monster needs to feel more pain than cancer.
i can't imagine how you're feeling right now,
sadness? anger? just anything your brain can allow?you've already had to watch my body be violated,
we were just kids; never truly understood the dark truths.
this "normal" should be forever annihilated.
since when was this common for our youths?the water overflowed and corrupted our childhoods,
growing up i believed our bodies were goods.
the shadows in my mind smothered me in the ocean,
did these monsters also force you to believe this notion?
forever drowning, our bodies are unknown to us,
those digusting hands are what make our skin covered in cuts.i'm sorry, i should've been there as your protector,
but at least let me be there to drown with you.
i can't undo what those hands have done to her,
but i'll be here for whatever you go through.

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august 1, 2025

under the starry sky

tonight the stars share what it knows,
like gentle lights against the dark that grows,
each one giving comfort from my windowsill,
a promise that the shadows can’t break my will.with bleeding palms i gather what’s been torn,
believing kind hands can heal what’s worn.
i feel too much, the weight of hidden pain,
that settles in my bones like winter rain.
sometimes i run from what i need most,
afraid that wanting turns to loving’s ghost.but here beneath these ancient lights,
i’ve seen thousands of lonely nights,
i found that being lost’s another way
to find the path that leads me home to stay.each whispered lesson floats on the breeze,
teaching me that hearts aren’t mysteries
to solve with clever words or thought-out plans,
but gardens tended by patient, caring hands.so i wonder with the stars above,
with distant windows glowing softly with love,
where someone else is learning to believe
that in this universe, if we all can weave
connections that will catch us when we fall—
their people search for them beneath it all.tonight i am each constellation’s light,
yet none of them can hold me in their sight.
i’m simply human, simply hoping, standing here
beneath the sky that holds what i hold dear.

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july 14, 2025

hole in my heart

your arms open up like a doorway,
trying to guide me to the light,
but my dark mind leads me astray.your voice is filled with sincerity
i wish i could show you the same—
this shattered reflection
can only show you broken pieces
of what it used to be.there’s a hole in my heart
where warmth used to bloom
like flowers after the rain;
butterflies in spring.
now, there’s an echo
of feelings i used to have
with memories always in my mind
my idea of affection has died.i’m relearning this language
hoping muscle memory
will teach my sorrowful heart
how to race and skip beats
and leave the baggage.maybe my broken wings will flutter,
toward whatever light remains,
trusting what healing the rain can muster.

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june 28, 2025

eternally autumn

as each leaf falls,
my being crumbles.
i put up my walls,
in quiet rumbles.judgement is constant,
withering my petals.
decay slow but rampant,
into dust that settles.i am eternally autumn,
versions coming and going.
rotting at rock bottom,
piles overflowing.my roots poisoned,
doubts sinking in soil.
the growth’s recoiled,
remaining in turmoil.branches now brittle,
wind pushing me down.
used to belittle,
continuing to drown.buried beneath frozen earth,
i’ve lost my way of living.
my life has lost its worth,
people are unforgiving.

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may 17, 2025

petaled skin

sometimes the light makes me feel normal
when i belong it's easier to branch out
but nothing can ever be eternal
ultimately, the problem is my petaled skini see the tallest of trees around me
the trees change with the seasons
but my bark and leaves tend to disagree
my petaled skin is paper thinevery branch knows how to bend
they know how be the norm
but i feel forced to pretend
my petaled skin can never settle inif you strip the bark you'll find me there
the truth of my skin is deep within
in the heartwood, raw and bare
my petaled skin can't be pinned

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december 31, 2024

fall in love again

frost comes into view.
amidst the cold, there's my empty heart.
living in this year anew,
love is what i would like to start.i look deep within myself, seeing a broken soul.
nothing can ever put me in control.letting my past mistakes overtake my mind.
over and over, i wonder if i'm a good person.
vulnerability is not how i was designed,
even then, that's a flaw, i'm certain.at this level of doubt, it's been so long.
gentle hope is something i can't help but feel.
all i need is to try and be strong.
i will keep my heart open and continue to heal.
new year, new love, but mending is ideal.

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december 27, 2024

dear oreo,

my grumpy and small friend,
i want you to know that i never wished for this to end.
you were my rock, filling my life with love,
where in the outside world, there was a lack thereof.i remember our first years with you in the family,
sometimes your zoomies would risk my sanity.
you always protected us, awaiting your enemies' downfall,
but deep down you had the biggest heart of all.i'll miss walking downstairs every morning,
then suddenly see your dance and hear your whimpers without warning.
i'll miss taking our medications day after day,
without you, i forget; you kept me that way.you were always there for me during the highs and lows,
a special type of comfort only a dog knows.
you filled my days with meaning,
you helped me continue dreaming.thank you for your patience and loyalty,
for simply being there joyously.
no matter how much i tried to prepare,
my heart still feels empty; you can't compare.live on forever, oreo, in nature and sky,
run in vast fields and continue to fly high.
and when i think of you, i'll put on a smile,
because my memories with you will always be worthwhile.

sincerely with love,
your anxiety buddy

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november 21, 2024

a soirée of true love

walking into a room full of bright candles,
i can hear the ethereal strings and winds.
ballgowns and tailcoats twirling in crowds,
partners filling the air with quiet rambles.i wear my wistful satin and laced dress,
symbolizing my dreamer's eternal heart.
my fantasy drifts to a whispered waltz,
but i'm always overcome with distress.your candescent figure catches me in reverie,
melting my worries and scares away.
i want to protect you, bound by fate.
your words are swaying cleverly.before i'm able to express my attraction,
you are passing with a cherished flame.
as shadows emerge, your footsteps dancing,
you convey sweet nothings with passion.my heart aches and my brain goes numb,
yet i now know where true love comes from.

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november 9, 2024

do i still love you?


is it normal that i miss you?
our late night chats,
full of truths and dares,
but mostly just admiring each other’s cats.is it bad if you contact me out of the blue?
i could give you some sass,
share to me your affairs,
and i can share to you my new hats.it’s funny when i say that i miss us,
because i don’t think you do.but there’s so much we could discuss,
if only me still loving you were true.

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May 15, 2024

Far From a Goddess


I remember the day I was called Isis.
A force to be made; she guides us to heal.
An earth child and a goddess.A Queen of the Throne, we kneel.
I'm told she passed down her strength and power.
Somehow I was the model of appeal.She was more beautiful than a Jasmine flower.
I, however, conceal my nonexistent beauty.
Constantly victimized against the Devourer.All I represent is a flawed Ruby.
A dull gem, covered in bright red blood.
Punishing myself for my wrongs is my duty.
I cause earthquakes and flash floods.
The opposite of Isis; forever coldblood.

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October 7, 2023

I'm Messy

I wouldn't say I'm excellent at writing.I wouldn't say I'm incredible at filmmaking.I wouldn't say I'm great at anything.I lack skills while others don't;
everyone is wonderfully skilled at many things.

I get into dark moods,
my mind goes blank and becomes discontinued.I'm known to have an empty face,
reactions often full of anger, I have to brace,For the events that follow,
hoping to god my brain will get me to tomorrow.I make many mistakes,
everything seems to break and implicates,My broken life and mind,
which pushes me to the brink of suicide.

My useless thoughts in this worthless body,A child I failed to protect and is now all bloody,Scars that I can't help but itch and feel crummy,My actions will forever be dusty and rusty,
forever pointless, despicable, and ugly.

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September 29, 2023

Wasting Time

I waste at least five hours lying in bed every day,
not including the time I get to sleep.I waste time wishing I could've flown.I waste time quietly sobbing,
struggling to find my purpose in life as I bleed.I waste time being trapped in a dark, dolent pit.I waste time staring at kitchen knives,
wondering if everyone would eventually be happy if I died.I waste time to admit I want to quit.I waste time watching movies and being gloomy
because I don't have a way to feel like I've tried.I waste time rotting on the rude and nameless stone.I always waste time, I'm always alone,
so why should I wait and suffer to build my tombstone?

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September 23, 2023

Dear Mister Genius,

Distance keeps me from falling, to which I wish to do so. I'm scared that if I take these emotions with open arms, I won't be able to stop holding you dear. I find solace in our shared dreams. I yearn for your presence and the taste of your laugh. It's a feeling that is profound, or so it seems.
Your every move leaves me in awe. You comfort me during my sleepless nights and execrable days. As I wander yonderly, you bring me back to reality. You make me less afraid of what's to come next. I feel at home, and that's all because of you.
Even though I can't hold you close, the touch of your hand I cannot find, you're never far. My undeniable infatuation for you knows no bounds in space, nor distance, nor the stars. I'll wait and hope for a day we'll be free. So we can bridge that distance, just you and me.

Sincerely,
Miss Jump to Conclusions ♡


holy shit this is corny and cringe as fuck what am i doing